I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
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It was 1980 and I was in the 'home' or 'Annexe' (or maternity Hospital as many of you know it as) having just given birth to our last child. In those days we were kept in hospital for a week or even longer sometimes, so there was a lot of time to fill in. We weren't sick, just often a little bored! In a ward of eight mothers there were always others to talk to and I became friendly with the person in the next bed - in fact we are still close friends today.
Every breakfast time brought an entourage of people from the kitchen bearing food. First the cooked food, then at the end came the lady bearing the toast trolley. She was a funny little person, tightly permed hair, in her 60's (I thought that was old then - have a different perspective now!!), with a very very sour unsmiling face.
One morning I had the audacity to ask for an extra piece of toast. You would have thought that I had asked for the moon! My reception was chilly to say the least and I was denied my extra piece.
Well - what a challenge! Together my friend and I hatched a plan - we were going to sweet talk this lady and extract all the toast we wanted. (I told you we were bored!)
So the next few mornings we made an effort to be so very very friendly to her - we met her down the hall, greeted her with a smile in spite of not getting one in return, made small talk, complimented her on how well she did her job, and how hard it must be to make the toast just right and to please everyone etc etc.
Slowly she thawed and after a few days she was transformed into this unrecognisable person - smiling, friendly, and giving a second piece of toast to whoever wanted one!
Looking back I sometimes feel a little ashamed of our behaviour really as our compliments were so insincere and our motives were suspect.
However - all she wanted in life was to feel appreciated and she obviously didn't before then.
My friend and I often wonder to this day if our efforts changed her outlook to her job and her interaction with the patients in any way.
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5 comments:
Oh how lovely for her - you could have had a profound effect on the rest of her life in doing that.
I always make a point of telling people when they have done a good job.
EG on the Jaws ride at Universal Studios, the 'guide'did an fantastic job of playing the part of shark killer etc. I have een on that ride loads of times and she was the best I'd seen. As we got off theboat I went over and told her that. She was really surprised and I hope it made her day a little better too.
We are very quick to complain these days but so very slow to tell people when they are doing a great job don't you think?
I love that story, I can picture the toast lady and her trolley right now!
Ohhhhhhhhh! What a wonderful post, Mrinz! :) It's true...sometimes we have to stop and think about why certain people we meet are so miserable. There's always a story behind things that we don't often know about.
I also love that you are still close friends with the other mothers you were in the maternity ward with. That is so special!
P.S. I LOVE the new look of your blog! Lovely!
Hi, Mrinz--
What a beautiful new design! And what a lovely story you have told here.
You are so right-- seeking out the "positive" in others, and rewarding it with praise, can certainly make all the difference in this life... though I will certainly and wholeheartedly agree that it is difficult to muster sometimes.
I am certain that your comments made a vast difference to that woman. And I'm even more certain she missed you terribly when you left the ward.
Hopefully she, too, learned the value of "positivity" from you and your friend, and treated her patients a bit more kindly.
It's all about the Golden Rule, don't you think?
much love to you, as always... CGF xo
you have to be careful what gail tells you, she is a dizzy bonde from a very cold part of england that hardly gets any sun, and florida is the only thing she looks forward too, even christmas she messes up on and can't remember if it is in the spring....she thought it was 204 days away which would put her into march
Putz - poor Gail - don't be too hard on her!
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